Awareness Over Addictions

For a moment, New York City is silent, and I can only hear my thoughts approaching from a distance. I know I am moving, and the ride feels extra bumpy, but I am not sure exactly where I am or what I am doing. I think I hear a soft voice deep inside me, shouting something in a whisper, and instantly, my eyes flash open! I am fully awake now as if my alarm clock frightened me out of deep sleep. However, I see I am not home safe in bed. I am behind the wheel of my car, gently rolling down the right lane on Main Street in Queens, and I am trying hard to understand how I got here.  

On the outside, there is not one scratch, except both front and rear passenger side tires are busted and balanced on the bare rims. Now back on the inside, fearfully searching for my phone to find it under the driver seat with two percent of battery left, and no charger. My fingers tremble to dial Roadside Assistance, and thank GOD they are on their way. With one percent of battery life, my mother receives my location and in a taxi coming to my rescue; Without a question.

I have two missed calls from my friend with one text message saying, “I came out the bathroom & you were gone, why would you leave like that?” and click the phone goes dead. The last thing I do remember is taking shots of Hennessy and bumping to music at my friend’s apartment. I do not remember ever leaving their home or how I even got to my vehicle parked blocks away from the house in Jamaica, Queens alone. Still, unconsciously, I ended up six miles down the Van Wyck Expressway in my Ford Fiesta.

What I do know is that GOD and the Universe protected me from hurting myself and from harming others. The Divine gave me another chance to change my life around and the freedom to not take it for granted again. Before this awakening, I was drinking daily due to the wrong reasons, and for way too long. I did not realize how much I had to lose, but especially how much I have to offer. I was sabotaging my life with substances and people that gave me temporary acceptance of a sad reality, instead of releasing all the toxins in every aspect of my life to create a healthy actuality.

Thank you for reading.

Copyright © 2021 Kamenie Lakhan

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